“This planet has – or rather had – a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movement of small green pieces of paper, which was odd because on the whole it wasn’t the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.”
Douglas Adams, “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy”
I’ve been quiet on the blog front as I have had new challenges at work – I am almost done training my new teammates. My boss gave me free rein regarding how I do it – on the one hand it is nice to be able to organise things as I see fit, on the other… sometimes it has felt like reinventing the wheel.
We have a rather steady flow of new people among us, as we are held in high regard in other departments due to our thorough knowledge concerning how the whole enormous system fits together. This means that the more experienced ones are often offered a position in another department which they tend to accept because the novelty of working in shifts wears down after a while and it is nice to actually have a sleeping schedule. Anyway, I digress.
I have been training new people since the beginning of October and while I like teaching and have been doing extremely well (especially as it is my first time), it has been significantly more tiring than I originally anticipated. The most difficult obstacle to conquer has been the fact that I am a hard-coded introvert. Talking to people all day long leaves me drained and exhausted. The only cure is enough alone-time to be able to tackle the next day and if I don’t get that, I become very grumpy and yet I must not vent my spleen at work. Finding a balance here has been a challenge indeed.
Yesterday was extra stressful, as I had to make a difficult choice – I was offered a very expensive training course (on the company’s expenses, naturally) that might come in handy in the future but the catch was that I would have had to give up 2 out of 8 days with my Gentleman, whom I last saw in July. Had I known earlier that the training course would be held during the weekend, plane tickets might have been rearranged but I had only been told not to begin my vacation that week and pick the next one instead.
So I chose to be with the Gentleman and I already know beforehand that he will scold me for this when I tell him I decided in his favour instead of a certificate. It was not at all easy to decide and I am not 100% certain that I made the right choice but it seems to me that even if I had chosen differently, I would have doubts just the same. That is just the way it is with decisions that will affect your life in a very direct manner, however you try to look at them. The only way to know whether you chose the right thing is to wait and see if it all works out and that really sucks.
Money is not my god and I have deliberately tried to refrain from letting it guide my decisions, if possible. Then again, I am very dedicated to my work, perhaps even to the point of being a workaholic… if I do not choose my significant other over a piece of paper, then what am I?